Reality of Shame

Shame is a word that indicates a negative meaning associated with dishonor or disgrace. To have shame one has to be able to look into the past and realize that words/actions they regret or are disgraced with. Shame is often considered to be a terrible thing because of how it portrays someone in a society. I know one of the worst things someone (in my mind parent or guardian) can say is “I am ashamed of you”. This indicates that not only did you go and shame yourself; it is that someone close to you or who protects you feels disgrace on the account of yourself.

Looking deeper into the social context of the word shame, the word signifies something that you did wrong or against morals. Shame also indicates that you have been caught be someone, a group of people, or your own conscience. A common metaphor for shame is “not being able to live with yourself” relates very closely with the feeling of having shame. There is a very close relation to shame and social values. The shame that is a violation of internal values is often called guilt. The two words (shame and guilt) are deciphered from each other by pretty much that basis alone.

Definitions:

1. the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another: She was overcome with shame.
2. susceptibility to this feeling: to be without shame.
3. disgrace; ignominy: His actions brought shame upon his parents.
4. a fact or circumstance bringing disgrace or regret: The bankruptcy of the business was a shame. It was a shame you couldn’t come with us

 The only definition that does not make sense to me is the second one in the list. I can’t recognize how susceptibility to shame makes a person have shame. Maybe someone can be ashamed about having shame? I have no clue. It is interesting though, to point out the difference between guilt and shame (mentioned up above). And to look at what is worse, having shame (breaking social values) or having guilt (breaking internal values)?